Christian Mentor
The people of Jesus’ day hoped for a ruler who would free Judea from tyrannical rule. However, Jesus turned the tables by confronting their infatuation with power.
After a journey one day Jesus asked his disciples what they had been talking about on the road. They were ashamed to admit that they had been discussing who would be the greatest in the kingdom. Jesus gave a simple reply, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35)
The word “servant” used here comes from the Greek word Doulos, which means “one who willingly becomes a slave.” Jesus led by example. He alone became the servant of all.
But his challenge to the disciples is still a challenge to us today: we lead in direct proportion to our willingness to be a strong foundation for those who come after us. In the words of Glen Shultz, leadership involves “learning to rise to the bottom.” By Dr. Jeff Myers
Principles for Successful Mentoring
There are several significant principles that Christian mentors and coaches must follow. Failing to follow these principles risks failure in the mentoring relationship:
You are not a parent or a counselor. Your goal as a mentor is not to take the place of a parent or to solve a person’s emotional or psychological problems. Be discerning about the proper ground for mentoring. Be wise about when professional counseling is needed.
Your goal as a mentor is to minister. Mentoring is not a way to meet your needs for significance, but to walk with others as they grow and become like Christ. Your goal as a mentor should never be to shape your mentorees into your image, but to encourage them to bear God’s image more fully.
God brings about change. Mentoring is not your opportunity to implement your agenda in the life of another person. It is your opportunity to walk with another person as God shapes him into His image.
Leaders take responsibility. Both the mentor and protégé should take responsibility to meet on time, be prepared, and commit to growth. Ask your protégé to take responsibility for contacting you, changing meeting times, and setting goals for the relationship.
Christian Mentor - Sharing Truth with Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Hear It
When some people think of passing the baton to the next generation, they say, “But the next generation doesn’t want to hear it. They’re not open to wise counsel.” In a certain sense, that’s true. However, as a communications professor, I’ve come to learn that sometimes this uncertainty has more to do with how the truth is presented than the truth itself. For instance, if you start a conversation with “If I were you I would…” or “When I was your age…” you’re likely to be shut out. A helpful analogy is to think of truth as a beam from a flashlight. If someone shines a flashlight in your face, it’s confrontational and even threatening. But if a person points the flashlight beam down the rocky trail you’ll be treading, you feel relief and gratefulness.
Here are some simple conversation openers. Use these to convince others of the truth not by explaining the truth, but by showing what difference it makes to embrace the truth.
• “May I tell you about a personal experience that might make the way clearer for you?”
• “May I share something with you in a spirit of love?”
• “I’ve had an experience that might shed some light on your current situation, and I’d be happy to share it if you’re interested.”
• “I know of another way that might work. Would you like to hear it?”
• “Please listen very carefully for a moment. I have something I’d like to tell you that could have a big influence on your life.”
• “Could you meet my eyes for a moment? There’s something very important I want to tell you.”
• “So much depends on what I’m about to share with you. Please give me your full attention.”
Why Should I Follow You?
As a Christian mentor, that’s a legitimate question being asked by everyone you’re trying to influence. The answer depends on your credibility.
Credibility comes from the word “credo” or “trust.” More than two thousand years ago the philosopher Aristotle wrote that a person’s credibility isn’t built-in. Rather, potential followers give leaders credibility depending on how well those leaders answer three questions:
Ethos: Will you treat me with dignity and integrity?
Pathos: Are you capable of going to bat for what is really important?
Logos: Do you know what you are talking about?
How can you build credibility with your followers?
• Be authentically interested.
• Communicate with integrity.
• Never passively accept what is in your power to change.
• Follow God’s leading.
• Draw on the experience of others.
• Seek out opportunities for training and networking.
Remember this: your followers will rarely raise the bar for themselves any higher than you have raised the bar for yourself.
Mentoring and Passing the Baton
By Dr. Jeff Myers
Coach Nigel Hetherington, the Scottish National Sprints and Hurdles coach, shares ten principles of the baton relay.1 What lessons can we learn from these about the race of life?
1. The race is about the baton, not the runners. The objective is to keep the baton moving at maximum speed at all times throughout the race. The baton must always remain the fastest member of the squad!
2. The relay brings out the best in everyone. The relay should increase, not decrease, the speed of the athletes. A properly-trained 400 meter relay team will post a time that is less than the four runners’ combined 100 meter times.
3. Every team member should be prepared to run in all positions. Every possible combination of positions and changeovers should be practiced to allow complete flexibility in covering every eventuality.
4. It is a good idea to practice the baton pass. Have all members of the squad stand one step apart in the same lane, facing the same direction. Give the baton to the athlete at the back and ask each to pass it until it arrives at the front.
5. Practice until the handover becomes instinctual. Athletes must learn to trust one another. Rather than looking back, the outgoing runner should be trained to respond to a 'hand' command.
6. Practice under pressure. Introduce the pressure of race day during practice. For example, run two or more closely matched teams together and practice exchanges with athletes on either side. Recreate spectator noise if possible.
7. The last runner must be chosen carefully. The last leg runner must maintain form while under pressure— there’s no one else to help them out. Choose an ‘adrenaline’ runner who can hit the finish line at full speed.
8. The baton exchange should occur at very close maximum speed. The incoming athlete should not be overstretched, or he will be off-balance when making the exchange. The outgoing runner must focus on reaching full speed and only put his hand back when he receives the ‘hand’ command.
9. A baton drop does not automatically disqualify a team. Whoever had the baton when it was dropped may retrieve it and continue the race. If the incoming runner drops it, he may pick it up and complete the pass.
Intentional efforts will be rewarded! Improving relay skills work can be invigorating and rewarding if performed intelligently. Without doubt, a squad utilizing these principles will substantially improve race performance.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
It Takes a Man to be a Dad
Back in 1997 a full page add was taken out in the USA Today. The page was divided from top to bottom into two columns.
On the left-side of the page it simply said: What it takes to be a father. Underneath was a blown-up, magnified picture of a single sperm. On the right hand side of the page the heading read:
What it takes to be a dad:
• Read to your children.
• Keep your promises.
• Go for walks together.
• Let your children help with household projects.
• Spend time one-on-one with each child.
• Tell your children about your own childhood.
• Go to the zoo, museums, and ball games as a family.
• Set a good example.
• Use good manners.
• Help your children
• Show your children warmth and affection.
• Set clear, consistent limits.
• Consider how your decisions will affect your children.
• Listen to your children.
• Know your children’s friends
• Take your children to work.
• Open a savings account for your children.
• Resolve conflicts quickly.
• Take your children to a place of worship.
• Make a kite together.
• Fly a kite together.
We have gotten away from the basics of parenting.
What it takes to be a father or what it takes to be a dad…Any man can father a child but it takes a real man to be a dad.
Kids who are abandoned by their fathers know the truth. Their lives have been altered. The family has died. And things will never be the same. They intuitively understand the truth.
It takes more than sperm to be a father. It takes commitment.
But commitment can be hard. Commitment will cost you something. And a lot of fathers simply aren’t willing to pay the price.
There can be no fathering without commitment.
To be a father you must first be committed to God, then your marriage. Being committed to your wife will create a commitment towards your kids. We have to be committed to staying instead of leaving!!
A real dad does more than simply produce children. A real dad keeps his promises. He chooses to work through the tough times, for the sake of his wife and children. He refuses to abandon being the head of his home. He leads his family and loves them. He provides for them and protects them, both emotionally and physically. These things he cannot do once he walks out the door!
A father who walks away from his family has walked away from fathering. And when he walks away from fathering, he has ripped apart the very thing his children need to grow up to be healthy adults. Our children learn from our leadership, our examples. They learn how to treat their wife by watching us.
In 1998 about 40% of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Think about how worse off our country is twelve years later!
This is called voluntary abandonment. It is a choice!
Fathers count. Fathers who stay count! It takes more than sperm to make a difference in a child’s life.
Twenty nine years ago Dr. James Dobson stated, It is in my opinion that our very survival as a people will depend upon the presence or absence of male leadership in millions of homes…I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to preservation of the family.
I believe that if we can get to the heart of the man, we can save the family…Divorce is the lethal killer of fatherhood. The lack of commitment…God did not say, husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church and if all fails bail out.
Be the man and be the father…By being committed to you wife! NO MATTER WHAT it takes!
We are in a crisis…It is time to take action!
Now, the question I ask you, are you committed to be the man, the father, the husband God has called you to be? If so join me as I promise, to God, to be the very best husband and father for a life time.
I ________________________________ in front of all these men promise to give my all towards my family. I promise to love, honor and respect my wife until death. I promise to work always towards putting her needs and cares above my own. I promise to continue to improve my relationship with my wife and my kids, so help me God. I promise to put God first in all things.
Date: _________________________________
Witness: ______________________________________________________
Some alarming statistics:
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Statistics Statistics in Education Web Site Statistics DC Crime Statistics US Census Statistics
There is no question that children who grow up in fatherless homes have a much greater risk of major challenges in life than those who grow up with a father at home. These statistics are alarming and should give any father pause.
Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)
Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census)
Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (United States Center for Disease Control)
High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)
Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).
Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).
Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).
Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).
Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
[U. S. D.H.H.S. Bureau of the Census]
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
[Center for Disease Control]
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
[Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14 p. 403-26]
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
[National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes
[U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept., 1988]
• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
[Fulton County Georgia Jail Populations and Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992]
• Nearly 2 of every 5 children in America do not live with their fathers.
[US News and World Report, February 27, 1995, p.39]
There are:
• 11,268,000 total custodial mothers
• 2,907,000 total custodial fathers
[Current Populations Reports, US Bureau of the Census, Series P-20, No. 458, 1991]
What does this mean? Children from fatherless homes are:
• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
• 6.6 times to become teenage mothers (if they are girls, of course),
• 24.3 times more likely to run away,
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.
(The calculation of the relative risks shown in the preceding list is based on 27% of children being in the care of single mothers.)
and — compared to children who are in the care of two biological, married parents — children who are in the care of single mothers are:
• 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (so that they will require medical attention), and
• 73 times more likely to be killed.
“If you can get to the heart of the father you can save the family.”mg
Notes: Taken from Internet statistics. Quotes taken from Anchor Man By: Steve Farrar A must read.
Mg, life coach ministry
On the left-side of the page it simply said: What it takes to be a father. Underneath was a blown-up, magnified picture of a single sperm. On the right hand side of the page the heading read:
What it takes to be a dad:
• Read to your children.
• Keep your promises.
• Go for walks together.
• Let your children help with household projects.
• Spend time one-on-one with each child.
• Tell your children about your own childhood.
• Go to the zoo, museums, and ball games as a family.
• Set a good example.
• Use good manners.
• Help your children
• Show your children warmth and affection.
• Set clear, consistent limits.
• Consider how your decisions will affect your children.
• Listen to your children.
• Know your children’s friends
• Take your children to work.
• Open a savings account for your children.
• Resolve conflicts quickly.
• Take your children to a place of worship.
• Make a kite together.
• Fly a kite together.
We have gotten away from the basics of parenting.
What it takes to be a father or what it takes to be a dad…Any man can father a child but it takes a real man to be a dad.
Kids who are abandoned by their fathers know the truth. Their lives have been altered. The family has died. And things will never be the same. They intuitively understand the truth.
It takes more than sperm to be a father. It takes commitment.
But commitment can be hard. Commitment will cost you something. And a lot of fathers simply aren’t willing to pay the price.
There can be no fathering without commitment.
To be a father you must first be committed to God, then your marriage. Being committed to your wife will create a commitment towards your kids. We have to be committed to staying instead of leaving!!
A real dad does more than simply produce children. A real dad keeps his promises. He chooses to work through the tough times, for the sake of his wife and children. He refuses to abandon being the head of his home. He leads his family and loves them. He provides for them and protects them, both emotionally and physically. These things he cannot do once he walks out the door!
A father who walks away from his family has walked away from fathering. And when he walks away from fathering, he has ripped apart the very thing his children need to grow up to be healthy adults. Our children learn from our leadership, our examples. They learn how to treat their wife by watching us.
In 1998 about 40% of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Think about how worse off our country is twelve years later!
This is called voluntary abandonment. It is a choice!
Fathers count. Fathers who stay count! It takes more than sperm to make a difference in a child’s life.
Twenty nine years ago Dr. James Dobson stated, It is in my opinion that our very survival as a people will depend upon the presence or absence of male leadership in millions of homes…I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to preservation of the family.
I believe that if we can get to the heart of the man, we can save the family…Divorce is the lethal killer of fatherhood. The lack of commitment…God did not say, husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church and if all fails bail out.
Be the man and be the father…By being committed to you wife! NO MATTER WHAT it takes!
We are in a crisis…It is time to take action!
Now, the question I ask you, are you committed to be the man, the father, the husband God has called you to be? If so join me as I promise, to God, to be the very best husband and father for a life time.
I ________________________________ in front of all these men promise to give my all towards my family. I promise to love, honor and respect my wife until death. I promise to work always towards putting her needs and cares above my own. I promise to continue to improve my relationship with my wife and my kids, so help me God. I promise to put God first in all things.
Date: _________________________________
Witness: ______________________________________________________
Some alarming statistics:
Sponsored Links
Fathers Rights SupportAvail High-Value, Low-Cost Solution for Child -Custody, Visit, Support.www.NationalFamilySolutions.com
Simple Dementia TestsEveryday Tips to Preserving Memory From America's #1 Hospital - Free!www.JohnsHopkinsHealthAlerts.com
Scottsdale Education CtrTutoring with Results at All Levels Experienced Certified Teacherswww.sectutoring.com
Fatherhood Ads
Statistics Statistics in Education Web Site Statistics DC Crime Statistics US Census Statistics
There is no question that children who grow up in fatherless homes have a much greater risk of major challenges in life than those who grow up with a father at home. These statistics are alarming and should give any father pause.
Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)
Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census)
Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (United States Center for Disease Control)
High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)
Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).
Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).
Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).
Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).
Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
[U. S. D.H.H.S. Bureau of the Census]
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
[Center for Disease Control]
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
[Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14 p. 403-26]
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
[National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes
[U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept., 1988]
• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
[Fulton County Georgia Jail Populations and Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992]
• Nearly 2 of every 5 children in America do not live with their fathers.
[US News and World Report, February 27, 1995, p.39]
There are:
• 11,268,000 total custodial mothers
• 2,907,000 total custodial fathers
[Current Populations Reports, US Bureau of the Census, Series P-20, No. 458, 1991]
What does this mean? Children from fatherless homes are:
• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
• 6.6 times to become teenage mothers (if they are girls, of course),
• 24.3 times more likely to run away,
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.
(The calculation of the relative risks shown in the preceding list is based on 27% of children being in the care of single mothers.)
and — compared to children who are in the care of two biological, married parents — children who are in the care of single mothers are:
• 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (so that they will require medical attention), and
• 73 times more likely to be killed.
“If you can get to the heart of the father you can save the family.”mg
Notes: Taken from Internet statistics. Quotes taken from Anchor Man By: Steve Farrar A must read.
Mg, life coach ministry
Friday, July 30, 2010
Ever Grow Weary
Do you ever grow tired and weary of doing good? In John 4:32-38 Jesus was faint so the disciples went to purchase food. When they returned, they were astonished at the change in Him. He was sitting up, face animated, eyes kindled. He told them, "I have food to eat of which you do not know." From this passage with its images, we may discover several laws of spiritual work.
1. Spiritual work is refreshing to the soul and body (vs 34). If we love spiritual work, it will kindle our souls.
2. There are seasons in the spiritual sphere, of sowing and reaping, just as in farming (vs 35).
3. Spiritual work links the workers in unity (vs 36)
4. Spiritual work has rich rewards (vs 36-38).
Conclusion: God will reward all we do, and all we try to do, and all we wish to do. He will be our reward forever and ever.
Based on an outline by John A. Broadus
Do you find this to be true in your life?
1. Spiritual work is refreshing to the soul and body (vs 34). If we love spiritual work, it will kindle our souls.
2. There are seasons in the spiritual sphere, of sowing and reaping, just as in farming (vs 35).
3. Spiritual work links the workers in unity (vs 36)
4. Spiritual work has rich rewards (vs 36-38).
Conclusion: God will reward all we do, and all we try to do, and all we wish to do. He will be our reward forever and ever.
Based on an outline by John A. Broadus
Do you find this to be true in your life?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Clothing of a Christian
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:12-15
Paul was concerned about the Christian's clothing. Prior to this he discusses what we call the clothing of the ungodly. There are certain desires, dispositions, and distinctions we need to strip off our lives. Then once we remove these things, then what are we to put on? Paul gave some positive suggestions. Col 3:12 says, "clothe yourselves." Following are things that could be classified as the clothing of a Christian. These are things that we are to put on. Note that they are not things that we just naturally add to our lives.
Some desirable personal qualities make up the Christian's clothing (Col. 3:12)
1. Compassion
2. Kindness
3. Humility
4. Meekness
5. Patience
Notice that these qualities all have to do with personal relationships. These are the things that help people relate to people and to get along together.
The practice of forgiveness makes up the Christian's clothing (Col. 3:13)
Forgive as the Lord forgave you...
What is the incentive for forgiveness? The incentive for forgiveness is the forgiveness that we have experienced through Jesus Christ. Having been forgiven, we are to be forgiving.
The inclusiveness of forgiveness. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
The perfection of love makes up the Christian clothing (Col. 3:14)
Love is the binding power that holds the Christian body together.
Love is the greatest of all Christian virtues.
The peace of God makes up the Christian clothing (Col. 3:15)
The peace of God rules in the heart. Interesting enough, the word translated "rule" is a word from the athletic arena, umpire. The peace of God settles disputes and divisions of the heart and soul.
The peace of God brings unity and thankfulness.
These garments can be put on only as we let the word of God dwell in us.
This was taken from a resource book of mine from years ago...Still good stuff.
Paul was concerned about the Christian's clothing. Prior to this he discusses what we call the clothing of the ungodly. There are certain desires, dispositions, and distinctions we need to strip off our lives. Then once we remove these things, then what are we to put on? Paul gave some positive suggestions. Col 3:12 says, "clothe yourselves." Following are things that could be classified as the clothing of a Christian. These are things that we are to put on. Note that they are not things that we just naturally add to our lives.
Some desirable personal qualities make up the Christian's clothing (Col. 3:12)
1. Compassion
2. Kindness
3. Humility
4. Meekness
5. Patience
Notice that these qualities all have to do with personal relationships. These are the things that help people relate to people and to get along together.
The practice of forgiveness makes up the Christian's clothing (Col. 3:13)
Forgive as the Lord forgave you...
What is the incentive for forgiveness? The incentive for forgiveness is the forgiveness that we have experienced through Jesus Christ. Having been forgiven, we are to be forgiving.
The inclusiveness of forgiveness. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
The perfection of love makes up the Christian clothing (Col. 3:14)
Love is the binding power that holds the Christian body together.
Love is the greatest of all Christian virtues.
The peace of God makes up the Christian clothing (Col. 3:15)
The peace of God rules in the heart. Interesting enough, the word translated "rule" is a word from the athletic arena, umpire. The peace of God settles disputes and divisions of the heart and soul.
The peace of God brings unity and thankfulness.
These garments can be put on only as we let the word of God dwell in us.
This was taken from a resource book of mine from years ago...Still good stuff.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I Only Have One
Two of my Friends have lost their fathers this week.
My dad was a hard working man, a rugged man, he loved me but he didn't always know how to show it. As I grew up I remember thinking that he had better relationships with his employees than with me. As I grew older he has supported me in most everything I've done, sometimes with apprehension.
I remember thinking back when I was young, we didn't spend enough quality time together. Then as I got older and would reminisce, I could remember him teaching me how to pitch a baseball. What's funny is I can also remember my mom playing football with me in the front yard. My dad never missed one of my ball games and he always encouraged me to work harder, that's what he knew best. I also remember my dad playing basketball with me. When I was four or five my parents bought a house on some land next door to their best friends.
This house they bought was at one time a chicken farm. It sat on a large piece of land with huge old cottonwood trees. In the back of the property was a barn that was the size of a football field. It still had gutter rails where the chicken eggs would roll down - at least that's what I thought. Beside the barn was a smaller workshop type building where I believe my dad kept the horse feed. I remember thinking what a cool building it was because who ever built this old building build it with small little doors that swung both ways probably for cats to come and go so they could catch the field mice after all this is where the horse feed was kept.
A few years later my dad decided to tear the old building down and by doing this it left a nice slab of concrete. My dad and Don, my dad's best friend that lived next door, made a basketball goal and installed it at one end of this slab and made it a nice basketball court. There my dad and I would shoot hoops for hours. Dad had the chance to play pro basketball but instead of playing for the pros he decided to marry my mom. He could sit at the edge of the concrete slab and swish every basket, keep in mind this was about a half court. I can remember him sitting down and of course I would feed him the ball. He would miss the first two or three and then he had it down. Over and over he could nail it making a swish - all net every time. Needless to say he would kill me at “HORSE,” “HORSES” or even “HORSE TRAILER,” it didn't matter how many extra words we added he would still win. I can remember just about dark as the sun was setting mom would yell out the back door, “Dinner is ready,” and a couple more shots and then we headed for the house to wash up for dinner.
As I think more about my dad, he wasn't much for sitting around. He had horses and cattle that had to be feed morning and night, and a large garden he had planted, plus he worked every day. My dad was a hard working man and a great dad.
If I had to say something negative about my dad, the only thing I could say is that he worked too hard. If I said something about what he did so well, he worked hard. He was and still is a provider. His main job was to take care of my mom and to provide for his family, he did it well. If I was asked, what was the most important thing your dad ever taught you, I would have to say, he taught me how to love my wife and how to care for my family. He taught me that in all cases you need to love and respect the women God has blessed you with. He taught me that it is okay to argue but it is good to see your parents love each other too.
I only have one dad and I am thankful for the support he gives me and the things he has taught me.
Mark Grisham
My dad was a hard working man, a rugged man, he loved me but he didn't always know how to show it. As I grew up I remember thinking that he had better relationships with his employees than with me. As I grew older he has supported me in most everything I've done, sometimes with apprehension.
I remember thinking back when I was young, we didn't spend enough quality time together. Then as I got older and would reminisce, I could remember him teaching me how to pitch a baseball. What's funny is I can also remember my mom playing football with me in the front yard. My dad never missed one of my ball games and he always encouraged me to work harder, that's what he knew best. I also remember my dad playing basketball with me. When I was four or five my parents bought a house on some land next door to their best friends.
This house they bought was at one time a chicken farm. It sat on a large piece of land with huge old cottonwood trees. In the back of the property was a barn that was the size of a football field. It still had gutter rails where the chicken eggs would roll down - at least that's what I thought. Beside the barn was a smaller workshop type building where I believe my dad kept the horse feed. I remember thinking what a cool building it was because who ever built this old building build it with small little doors that swung both ways probably for cats to come and go so they could catch the field mice after all this is where the horse feed was kept.
A few years later my dad decided to tear the old building down and by doing this it left a nice slab of concrete. My dad and Don, my dad's best friend that lived next door, made a basketball goal and installed it at one end of this slab and made it a nice basketball court. There my dad and I would shoot hoops for hours. Dad had the chance to play pro basketball but instead of playing for the pros he decided to marry my mom. He could sit at the edge of the concrete slab and swish every basket, keep in mind this was about a half court. I can remember him sitting down and of course I would feed him the ball. He would miss the first two or three and then he had it down. Over and over he could nail it making a swish - all net every time. Needless to say he would kill me at “HORSE,” “HORSES” or even “HORSE TRAILER,” it didn't matter how many extra words we added he would still win. I can remember just about dark as the sun was setting mom would yell out the back door, “Dinner is ready,” and a couple more shots and then we headed for the house to wash up for dinner.
As I think more about my dad, he wasn't much for sitting around. He had horses and cattle that had to be feed morning and night, and a large garden he had planted, plus he worked every day. My dad was a hard working man and a great dad.
If I had to say something negative about my dad, the only thing I could say is that he worked too hard. If I said something about what he did so well, he worked hard. He was and still is a provider. His main job was to take care of my mom and to provide for his family, he did it well. If I was asked, what was the most important thing your dad ever taught you, I would have to say, he taught me how to love my wife and how to care for my family. He taught me that in all cases you need to love and respect the women God has blessed you with. He taught me that it is okay to argue but it is good to see your parents love each other too.
I only have one dad and I am thankful for the support he gives me and the things he has taught me.
Mark Grisham
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Friendship...
To Have A Friend We Must Be One
Over the years I have had the opportunity to do many different things. But it was not until last year that I realized God had gifted me with relationships. He has given me the desire and passion to help people with life issues.
I realized this about a year ago while I was sitting on the board of elders at Journey Church. It was on a Sunday right after communion; we were set up to pray for people. That was when I realized my passion for people. A young lady who had just lost her job walked up us. She is a dedicated woman that loves God and loves her three young girls. Being a single mom losing her job she came up for prayer. I didn't specifically remember the prayer I prayed for her but two Sundays later she walked up to me. She stood in front of me and said, "Can I hug you?" I said, “Of course you can.” Then she began to explain what had happened. She said, “Do you remember what you prayed when you prayed for me,” I didn't remember so she reminded me. She said, “You prayed that God would bless me for my obedience and that God will provide for me to the point that you will be laughing at how creative He gets to provide for you and your kids.” I remembered in my prayer I kind of laughed as I said, “God will provide in ways that will blow your mind if you just believe and trust in Him.” I said, “You will receive non-explainable checks in the mail to the point that you will laugh at His creative ways”. . . God was so real as I prayed for her, but like times before when God speaks I don't usually remember the details. This woman I had prayed for reminded me and she along with her young daughters was laughing at how God was providing for them in unexplainable ways, ways in which only God can provide.
Later that afternoon, as I was thinking back at our conversation, I realized it was times like that where God would use me. That is when I realized that was my passion, praying and helping people.
God has blessed me with a non threatening way about me that lets me befriend people and connect with them on a level that conversation is easy and nonthreatening, so I am told. But this is God, not me!
And that has lead me to this. . . Did you know statistically men are not relational and statistically the average man does not even have one friend that he can confide in? However, I am finding contradiction in these statistics. I feel that when men are given the opportunity to share their deepest feelings in a safe place, they are more than willing. I have been blessed with many friends and I believe to have a friend you must first be one. In our men's group on Tuesday we discussed this topic and one of the questions I asked was, "What characteristics in a friend are important to you?" We heard a lot of answers but the two that seemed to be the most important were Trust and Loyalty.
The definition for Trust is: reliance on another person or entity. Having faith in others and believing them.
And the definition for Loyalty is: faithfulness to a cause. Loyalty also means devotion, dependent, and honest to one person or thing.
Loyalty, also called allegiance or troth, is faithfulness or a devotion to a person or cause.
So I ask, are you a friend? Are you easily approachable? Are you loyal and trustworthy?
After thinking about this I came to the conclusion that in order to be a friend, or should I say in order to have a friend, it is important to open up. To become vulnerable, we have to open up in order to build that loyalty and trust. And in turn that relationship will then be reciprocated. Same goes for our love for our spouse, we have to open up and share our deepest thoughts but as I say this even your spouse needs their same sex relationships to confide in. We need friends that will be loyal and truthful, and at the same time someone who will give Godly counsel.
Kent Hughs in Disciplines of a Godly Man says,
There are no hooks in such friendships, no desire to manipulate or control, no jealousy or exclusiveness - simply a desire for the best for the other, Dostoyevski had the idea when he wrote: "To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be." Do you have such a deep friend?
Loyalty is indispensable to the survival of friendship. How many once-prosperous friendships have faded because of disloyal talk? Pascal put it pointedly: "I set this down as a fact, that if all men knew what each other said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world." You will never know a deep friendship unless there is mutual loyalty and trust.
Hebrews 10:24-25 - "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Proverbs 17:17 - "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity"
Quotes From the book "Disciplines of a Godly Man" By Kent Hughs and Definitions from Wikipedia
Monday, February 22, 2010
Marriage Right From The Start
Let me start off with a story of a man who not only dearly loved his wife but held tight to his promises he made her "right from the start."
Most of us have been to more than a couple of weddings over our life time and in those weddings we always hear, I take you (your wife's name), to be my wife, loving you now and as you grow and develop into all that God intends. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you and when I am disappointed in you; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you to fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things believing that God is in the midst of them all. Or in simpler words, I promise to love, honor and respect you until death do us part."
Will we love our bride as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her? Will we love her as we love our self? Robert McQuilkin, the beloved former president of Columbia Bible College, and his wife, Muriel, who suffered with advanced signs of Alzheimer's disease. In march of 1990 Dr. McQuilkin announced his resignation with these words:
My dear wife, Muriel, has been in failing mental health for about eight years. So far I have been able to carry both her ever-growing needs and my leadership responsibilities at CBC. But recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just "discontent, " She is filled with fear-even terror-that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. Then she may be full of anger when she cannot get to me. So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full time.
Perhaps it would help you to understand if I shared with you what I shared at the time of the announcement of my resignation in chapel. The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in health... till death do us part." So, as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of dept. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more; I love Muriel. She is a delight to me - her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flash of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I do not have to care for her, I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.
Christlike love did not just happen. It came from a husband of who was disciplined and grounded in the word of God.
Have you ever noticed that old married people will tend to resemble each other? In Ephesians 5:31 Paul say, "When a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, the two will become one flesh. One flesh tends to resemble each other after 40 years. As Christians, in a marriage we have the same Lord, the same family, the same children, the same future, and the same ultimate destiny. We as married men have a call on our life to love with a willingness to sacrifice, even unto death.
Marriage is a call to die, and a man who does not die for his wife does not come close to the love to which he is called. Christian marriage vows are the inception of a lifelong practice of death, of giving over not only all you have, but all you are. In fact, those who lovingly die for their wives are those who know the most joy, hove the most fulfilling marriages, and experience the most love. When we can come to the point where her needs, worries and concerns are more important than our own, this is when we have learned selfless love. This takes strength, it takes a strong man to put her above himself. Are you strong enough?
Right from the start we make a huge commitment to love, honor and respect our wife till death do us part. Men we are called to self love, to love our wife as our own bodies, to care for them as Christ does the Church. Loving our wife's body as our own demands a physical, emotional and social incarnation. For the woman who is loved like this is envied, but even more is the man who loves his wife as Christ loved the Church.
It is time we look back and recall the promises we made right from the start...I do, how about you?
If you can change the heart of a MAN and save a marriage, then we have saved another mother and child from pain.
Reach a man, gain a family!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Discipline
Personal discipline is the indispensable key for accomplishing anything in this life.
Take for example Winston Churchill. This man was proclaimed as the speaker of the century by some. The truth about Churchill is the fact that he had a distracting lisp which made him the butt of many jokes and resulted in his inability to be spontaneous in public speaking. Yet he became famous for his speeches and his seemingly impromptu remarks.
He mastered his speeches by writing everything out and practicing it! To the point where he even paused for laughter and paused as if he were looking for the right phrase. Churchill would practice endlessly in front of a mirror, fashioning his retorts and facial expressions. It was said that he had spent the best years of his life writing impromptu speeches. A natural? Perhaps. A naturally disciplined hard working man!
We will never get anywhere in life without discipline, be it in the arts, business, athletics, or academics. This is doubly so in spiritual matters.
In 1 Timothy 4:7 it says "train yourself to be godly." The word "train" comes from the word gummos, which means "naked" and it is the word from which we derive our English word gymnasium. In the traditional Greek athletic contests, the participants competed without clothing, to eliminate being encumbered. Therefore, the word "train" originally carried the literal meaning, "to exercise naked. By New Testament times it referred to exercise and training in general. Even then it was a word with the smell of the gym in it - the sweat of a good workout. "Gymnasticize(exercise, work out, train) your-self for the purpose of godliness" conveys the feel of what Paul is saying in Timothy.
Therefore, he is calling for some spiritual sweat! Just as the athletes discarded everything and competed Gumnos - free from everything that could possibly burden them - so we must get rid of every encumbrance, every association, habit, and tendency which impedes godliness. If we are to excel, we must strip ourselves to a lean, spiritual nakedness.
I myself, have a long ways to go!
Take for example Winston Churchill. This man was proclaimed as the speaker of the century by some. The truth about Churchill is the fact that he had a distracting lisp which made him the butt of many jokes and resulted in his inability to be spontaneous in public speaking. Yet he became famous for his speeches and his seemingly impromptu remarks.
He mastered his speeches by writing everything out and practicing it! To the point where he even paused for laughter and paused as if he were looking for the right phrase. Churchill would practice endlessly in front of a mirror, fashioning his retorts and facial expressions. It was said that he had spent the best years of his life writing impromptu speeches. A natural? Perhaps. A naturally disciplined hard working man!
We will never get anywhere in life without discipline, be it in the arts, business, athletics, or academics. This is doubly so in spiritual matters.
In 1 Timothy 4:7 it says "train yourself to be godly." The word "train" comes from the word gummos, which means "naked" and it is the word from which we derive our English word gymnasium. In the traditional Greek athletic contests, the participants competed without clothing, to eliminate being encumbered. Therefore, the word "train" originally carried the literal meaning, "to exercise naked. By New Testament times it referred to exercise and training in general. Even then it was a word with the smell of the gym in it - the sweat of a good workout. "Gymnasticize(exercise, work out, train) your-self for the purpose of godliness" conveys the feel of what Paul is saying in Timothy.
Therefore, he is calling for some spiritual sweat! Just as the athletes discarded everything and competed Gumnos - free from everything that could possibly burden them - so we must get rid of every encumbrance, every association, habit, and tendency which impedes godliness. If we are to excel, we must strip ourselves to a lean, spiritual nakedness.
I myself, have a long ways to go!
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