It Takes a Man to be a Dad

Back in 1997 a full page add was taken out in the USA Today. The page was divided from top to bottom into two columns.


On the left-side of the page it simply said: What it takes to be a father. Underneath was a blown-up, magnified picture of a single sperm. On the right hand side of the page the heading read:


What it takes to be a dad:


• Read to your children.


• Keep your promises.


• Go for walks together.


• Let your children help with household projects.


• Spend time one-on-one with each child.


• Tell your children about your own childhood.


• Go to the zoo, museums, and ball games as a family.


• Set a good example.


• Use good manners.


• Help your children


• Show your children warmth and affection.


• Set clear, consistent limits.


• Consider how your decisions will affect your children.


• Listen to your children.


• Know your children’s friends


• Take your children to work.


• Open a savings account for your children.


• Resolve conflicts quickly.


• Take your children to a place of worship.


• Make a kite together.


• Fly a kite together.

We have gotten away from the basics of parenting.


What it takes to be a father or what it takes to be a dad…Any man can father a child but it takes a real man to be a dad.


Kids who are abandoned by their fathers know the truth. Their lives have been altered. The family has died. And things will never be the same. They intuitively understand the truth.


It takes more than sperm to be a father. It takes commitment.


But commitment can be hard. Commitment will cost you something. And a lot of fathers simply aren’t willing to pay the price.


There can be no fathering without commitment.


To be a father you must first be committed to God, then your marriage. Being committed to your wife will create a commitment towards your kids. We have to be committed to staying instead of leaving!!


A real dad does more than simply produce children. A real dad keeps his promises. He chooses to work through the tough times, for the sake of his wife and children. He refuses to abandon being the head of his home. He leads his family and loves them. He provides for them and protects them, both emotionally and physically. These things he cannot do once he walks out the door!


A father who walks away from his family has walked away from fathering. And when he walks away from fathering, he has ripped apart the very thing his children need to grow up to be healthy adults. Our children learn from our leadership, our examples. They learn how to treat their wife by watching us.


In 1998 about 40% of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Think about how worse off our country is twelve years later!


This is called voluntary abandonment. It is a choice!


Fathers count. Fathers who stay count! It takes more than sperm to make a difference in a child’s life.


Twenty nine years ago Dr. James Dobson stated, It is in my opinion that our very survival as a people will depend upon the presence or absence of male leadership in millions of homes…I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to preservation of the family.


I believe that if we can get to the heart of the man, we can save the family…Divorce is the lethal killer of fatherhood. The lack of commitment…God did not say, husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church and if all fails bail out.


Be the man and be the father…By being committed to you wife! NO MATTER WHAT it takes!


We are in a crisis…It is time to take action!

Now, the question I ask you, are you committed to be the man, the father, the husband God has called you to be? If so join me as I promise, to God, to be the very best husband and father for a life time.



I ________________________________ in front of all these men promise to give my all towards my family. I promise to love, honor and respect my wife until death. I promise to work always towards putting her needs and cares above my own. I promise to continue to improve my relationship with my wife and my kids, so help me God. I promise to put God first in all things.

Date: _________________________________

Witness: ______________________________________________________










Some alarming statistics:


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Statistics Statistics in Education Web Site Statistics DC Crime Statistics US Census Statistics


There is no question that children who grow up in fatherless homes have a much greater risk of major challenges in life than those who grow up with a father at home. These statistics are alarming and should give any father pause.


Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)


Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census)


Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (United States Center for Disease Control)


High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)


Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)


Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)


Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).


Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).


Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).


Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).


Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993






• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.


[U. S. D.H.H.S. Bureau of the Census]


• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.


• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.


[Center for Disease Control]


• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.


[Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14 p. 403-26]


• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.


[National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]


• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes


[U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept., 1988]


• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.


[Fulton County Georgia Jail Populations and Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992]


• Nearly 2 of every 5 children in America do not live with their fathers.


[US News and World Report, February 27, 1995, p.39]


There are:


• 11,268,000 total custodial mothers


• 2,907,000 total custodial fathers


[Current Populations Reports, US Bureau of the Census, Series P-20, No. 458, 1991]


What does this mean? Children from fatherless homes are:


• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,


• 6.6 times to become teenage mothers (if they are girls, of course),


• 24.3 times more likely to run away,


• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,


• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,


• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,


• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,


• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.


(The calculation of the relative risks shown in the preceding list is based on 27% of children being in the care of single mothers.)


and — compared to children who are in the care of two biological, married parents — children who are in the care of single mothers are:


• 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (so that they will require medical attention), and


• 73 times more likely to be killed.


“If you can get to the heart of the father you can save the family.”mg




Notes: Taken from Internet statistics. Quotes taken from Anchor Man By: Steve Farrar A must read.


Mg, life coach ministry